SARAH♥________________

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I don't understand anymore.
I don't understand what I'm doing or why I'm doing it.
I don't understand where I'm going,
or even how I'm getting there.
I don't understand what exactly my life has become,
and how it all sped by me so fast.

I don't understand.

The optimist in me is fighting.
Trying to stay alive.
This is merely the beginning.
i've only lived a small part of my life.
But lately,
the pessimist that I'd always tried to overcome is winning.
It's ahead of everything else,
and I can hear its message as clear as day.
YOUR LIFE HAS NO DIRECTION.

I don't know where I'm going.
And i can't seem to control it.
I'm so much more than lost.
Or confused.
I'm close to hopeless.

Because I'm so longing for my childhood to come running back,
laughing and telling me I didn't miss it.
It's right here.
Right where it always was,
i just never got a chance to see it all.
I feel like I had to grow up faster than I ever should have.

How can I be sure that every day I've ever lived wasn't wasted?
I've looked so far to the future for so long,
I'm afraid I've missed out on what's here and now.
What I'll never get a chance to relive.
I have so many paths to choose from.
And I can only hope that I make the right decisions.
That I end up living ~~happily ever after~~.
But what if everything I'm doing and have been doing has been one huge waste?
What if I've been so focused on getting as much done as I can,
that I ultimately reversed the action,
and set myself back further than where I began?
What is my life,
now?
What am I making it?
And how do I know it's right?

♥ 1:00 PM